Burbank Times police blotter

I was just eating yogurt at Menchie's and read a copy of the Burbank Times, and let me tell you, this city has the most interesting police blotter. Apparently, there are "Back Seat Bandits" terrorizing the parking lots of the area, stealing the third-row back seat of all cars with such a feature. Who knew? Also, some prostitutes hanging out at the local Quality Inn and some young women who tried to steal alcohol from the local Pavilions. Also, apparently my Bank of America branch was robbed recently, and the guy got away! I mean, there was no gunplay and only a couple thousand was stolen, but that's incredible to me. So, if you're ever in Burbank and bored, I absolutely recommend picking up a copy of the free Burbank Times for the fascinating and detailed police blotter. There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in my neighborhood.

I tweet

too much.

In fact, one of my tweets was quoted in Gawker last year.

They could have, like, told me.

4% shot at happiness

Screw grad school (for now).