Friday, July 30, 2010

things I like right now

Starz miniseries The Pillars of the Earth (hate that I have to read that now--book is friggin' huge)

all things Chris Hardwick

my reading list--go check the margin of this blog to see what I've been reading

that the cast of gone-too-soon Party Down continues to work in amazing stuff like Childrens Hospital, which is now on Comedy Central's Adult Swim and has already begun working on Season Three (Season Two premieres next month).

broccoli slaw

the short story I just finished writing (first draft)

lack of humidity in LA

Sunday, July 25, 2010

the problem with writing a shell game...

Well, that should be obvious, shouldn't it?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

incidence v. coincidence

Had a writing class dream last night in which I was a student and possibly the teacher. It's been a while, I think, since a writing dream.

The teacher brought out a bunch of stories that had, strangely enough, featured Nyquil, which seemed to be inappropriate to the time or place of the story. The teacher than brought up coincidence v. incidence, which was neither here nor there, I think, as far as the students' mistake, but it is an equally important issue. Great writing utilizes incidence in favor of coincidence every day and I sometimes forget that and write foolishly. It's good to know that, inside me, there's a far more clever writer than the one currently in play.

Monday, July 5, 2010

some of my best/fave tweets

I blew off a chance to be social this afternoon (the beach is sooooo far) and have decided to go through my 2,500+ tweets and bring you some of my faves. But just 2010, because, though I'm lame and crazy, I try not to be both at once.

time to unleash the flock of sheep in my brain. i keep them in close quarters in a small pen in the back of my thalamus. don't tell PETA. 11:24 PM Jul 3rd

if this whole writer thing doesn't work out, I guess I could always move to Thailand and sell cow placenta. Saturday, June 26, 2010 3:10:26 PM

If we're going by smell, my supervisor just microwaved a homeless person in the break room. 12:30 PM Jun 23rd

My eyes need resting. Don't know why. They don't do shit. 11:26 PM Jun 11th

people who couldn't be chefs because of their last names: John Ratzenberger. 10:37 AM Jun 8th

If you had to ID me just by my current stomach contents, you'd presume my name was Peter Peter and that I had a wife, but couldn't keep her. 1:53 PM Jun 7th

If someone is hospitalized in "grave condition" and doesn't die, I feel like the Grim Reaper got punk'd. Thursday, June 03, 2010 10:40:59 PM

Fabiola: feminant variant of Fabian, not an extra-ridiulous variant of Fabulous, like I was gonna guess. It may mean "one who grows beans." Saturday, May 15, 2010 3:31:28 PM

You complete m Saturday, May 15, 2010 2:44:36 PM

this is like 39 in my emotional 40 years in the desert 1:43 PM May 13th

Chocolate solves everything. If Kagan doesn't work out, we should appoint chocolate to the Supreme Court. Tuesday, May 11, 2010 4:53:24 PM

At la brea. Just heard a kid call a sabertooth a cybertooth. 4:26 PM May 1st

If you pronounce respite like it rhymes with cess pit, let's hang out. 5:12 PM Apr 27th

I don't have standards so much as everyone's gross. 4:13 PM Apr 25th

If "Pretzel Stand" was a perfume, I wouldn't just wear it, I'd buy it for all my friends. 9:40 PM Apr 23rd

Is getting seafood at the mall a bad idea? Well That's why my momma named me bad idea stevens. 7:14 PM Apr 23rd

water is no substitute for something that my body can convert into fat. 2:50 PM Apr 22nd

My calves are barking. That's right. So sore they don't even make a bovine noise. 3:29 PM Apr 16th

Mega Piranha, next weekend, on @SyFy. Honestly, any fish that size is gonna be scary. It could have been Mega Trout, same movie. 10:06 AM Apr 3rd

Leafy greens rhymes with beefy spleens. Coincidence? 12:50 PM Apr 1st

gonna get girl scout cookies today! yay! take a knee, diet. take a knee. 10:15 AM Mar 12th

I am not about to renege on a promise or flee my impending nuptials, so why are my feet so cold? 8:38 PM Mar 11th

Just sneezed a jellyfish. Sunday, February 28, 2010 6:00:33 PM

Ate too much the yo that is fro 2:17 PM Feb 27th

Latvia's trending? did they win a medal? or did Pattinson move there? 'cause I can't think of another reason for anyone to care. 10:28 PM Feb 23rd

whoa, Ted Danson's hair in Body Heat, whoa. Friday, February 19, 2010 8:29:07 PM

It's one of those soreness at the injection point kind of days. 11:51 AM Feb 6th

feels too crappy to eat solid foods. is there a thing called baby disease? 1:39 PM Feb 2nd

God forbid There's ever a fire at my apartment building. More cars park in front of the fire hydrant than you can shake a flaming stick at. 2:23 PM Jan 15th

Now the shower's off but She's still in the bathroom. Mutton faxer. 12:27 AM Jan 2nd

Rape victims take shorter showers than my roommate. For crying out loud. 12:14 AM Jan 2nd

think I'm belatedly jet-lagged. if i don't slap my face into my pillow soon, my face will never forgive me. face vengeance...shudder. 10:14 PM Jan 1st

Friday, July 2, 2010

conditions of the body, soul, living quarters

I have accepted my enemy as he is and decided to keep him close. My secondhand bookshelf that would not come together perfectly I have decided to keep and use in its unfinished condition. Three out of four screws will suffice, and the heavy books will go at the bottom. No fragile objects.

Saw Over Her Dead Body, which is a terrible movie for a variety of reasons. Something about Lake Bell's hair was particularly unpleasant. But I did like the talking bird at the end.

Also Toy Story 3 (and the short that came before). Simply fantastic. Best Animated Picture winner. Calling it now.

My friend who lives in Long Beach came up today and we talked for hours and ate food at restaurants I hadn't been to. I found a bed at Urban Habitat that I will buy when I win the lottery. It's crazy ornate, but I love it. My throat is sore from the unfamiliarity of talking so much, which is nice. Considering my roommate's gone till the 10th and I'll be alone till Wednesday night, having a friend around really helped.

Since I was a teenager, I've had this skin condition where my upper arms are quite bumpy because of an overproduction of keratin. The condition's called keratosis pilaris, and it's supposedly not uncommon, but I've never seen anyone with it. It's just a mild cosmetic issue, nothing too awful, but, boy, little, unalterable physical flaws have a way of breaking down your self-esteem in such a way that you sort of give up on the whole. I try to be healthy (and fail), but the idea of outer beauty is a real problem for me because of all these relatively insignificant but very present flaws like the KP that, even if I was slim and glistening, will never completely go away. I KNOW plenty of people have worse problems in their lives, but it's kind of a mind-fuck anyhow, I got to say.

Working on some ideas. Reading a billion things at once. C'est normal.

Hope everyone has a great weekend, and for those of you working like me, I have you in my heart.
In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?
-- Woody Allen