Monterey and Mom roadtrip

So my mother came to town last Friday, and Sunday we headed up north to visit where she was born. We struck out early, grabbing breakfast from Noah's in Sherman Oaks, and not stopping till Santa Barbara where we hit Sambo's just to buy my grandmother, who is a mildly old person-racist fan of the book, a souvenir. Then we headed to Los Padres National Forest where we intended to visit the Chumash Painted Cave. Now, let me warn you, if you dislike heights AT ALL, you might have a major panic attack on this steep, barrier-less, 1 1/2-lane, blind curve-riddled road. My mom, God bless her, started whimpering and demanded I turn around, which I was not able to do until halfway up (because there really wasn't a place to turn). So, again, if you have any anxiety about heights at all, DO NOT ATTEMPT to go to Chumash Painted Cave.

Adrenaline pumping, we pushed on to Solvang, this super strange little "Danish" village north of Santa Barbara. On the way, we came across Ostrichland. Yes. Ostrichland. My mother, who was so freaked out about the road to Chumash, jumped at the chance to feed the world's largest flightless bird and for my money the most aggressive. Emus are cute and less threatening, but ostriches look like they want to climb over the fence and peck you to death just for the pure joy of it. I have photos of my mother thrusting a pan of pellets at a group of competing ostriches as proof, but they're stowed away on my mom's camera, purely for private eyes. Sorry.

Solvang had nothing to scare either of us, though it bugged my mom a lot that the village was as much Dutch or German or Swedish as it was Danish. We wandered the stores (I liked the store with all the cuckoo clocks best), had lunch at Chomp, a decent burger joint next to the replica of Andersen's Little Mermaid statue, and then went on our merry way.

Our last stop before Marina (a town just north of Monterey that's far cheaper to stay) was the Avila Valley Barn, an orchard and shop in San Luis Obispo a roommate from college took me to once years ago. There I bought peanut butter yogurt pretzels. Though my mom and I scarfed them down, I'm not sure either of us know really if we liked them at all.

We stayed at Best Western Beach Dunes Inn, which was a stone's throw from Marina State Park, and has make-your-own-waffles as part of the included continental breakfast. A beach and waffles are all I need in life to be happy, so I was pretty darn happy.

Our first mission was to go to Fort Ord National Monument and sort of explore where my mom was born and (for a few months) raised. We sort of went the wrong way (because Google Maps doesn't have the young monument properly mapped yet) and ended up walking around the military roads, which are mostly used by bicyclists. We finally gave up and drove down to Monterey and Cannery Row. Had lunch at Bullwackers and talked to an Aussie couple who were on the last leg of a bus tour of the American West (sounded exhausting), bought a t-shirt that was insensitive to victims of shark violence for my stepdad that I subsequently decided to keep for myself and two pairs of adorable socks. Had middling cupcakes at Mrs. Delish and then...

Point Pinos, the lighthouse at, wait for it, the end of Lighthouse Drive. We just happened to go when it was open. It feels less like a lighthouse than a lighthome. Looks over a golf course. Run by a sweet lady. Entered a raffle for a psychedelic quilt.

Then 17-Mile Drive. Saw sea lions. Heard them first even with the fierce wind gusts. Lone Cypress. Ghost Tree.

If you can't see the Ghost Tree, that's because it's a ghost. Duh.

Then, because we're crazy, we decided the day wasn't over and went to Carmel-by-the-Sea. There is an amazing store called The White Rabbit, which sells a great deal of Alice in Wonderland-related paraphernalia. If I had the money, I'd overspend a lot at that store. They also had some Sherlock Holmes chess pieces ($20 a piece) that were calling my name, mostly in a taunting you-can't-afford-me way.

THEN we went to Santa Cruz in an attempt to see redwoods before sunset, which we basically failed at, and then had a less-than-fab dinner at Kianti's. BUT we got some cookies from the Pacific Cookie Company, and I have to recommend the chocolate chip walnut. That's some good stuff.

The next morning we headed to Pinnacles National Monument, and WE FOUND IT. After the luck we'd had the two days before, this was a miracle. We decided to do the easy 5 1/2-mile trip from Old Pinnacles Trailhead to Balconies Cave. It was gorgeous, and we saw a turkey and her babies, as well as a lizard. Only two other people on the trail, so we had it all to ourselves. When we got to the cave, there was what appeared to be a rock slide. My mom was over it and wanted to turn back, but I hated to get so close and not see the cave, so I scrambled over the rock slide, showing her it wasn't so bad, and then ditto going inside the cave. Here's the one photo I got with my phone.

We went under that rock near the bottom. I had to duck.

After that we grabbed snacks and souvenirs at the camp store, and I mourned my jeans, which, what with all the hiking and walking over the last few days, I had destroyed. Then we tried to find a place to stop for lunch. This took FOREVER. We finally stopped in Paso Robles and ate at Margie's Diner. They serve breakfast till 4pm. This gave me some joy.

Got back to LA before 8, which was amazing. Great, exhausting trip. Now to think about New Zealand...

more awesome things

Very Mary Kate is hi-larious, and with three seasons under its belt Burning Love continues to be amazing.

Kazakhstan. I know, 'cause I read Apples are from Kazakhstan. Now I want to go to Kazakhstan. Which brings the number of people in America without family from Kazakhstan who have heard of Kazakhstan and want to go there up to one.

Couch-to-5k. I mean, I'm only halfway through, but I've stuck with it and didn't die. Basically, that's magic.

Hawaiian Airlines for having an under-$800 RT fare to Auckland from LA. So guess where I'm going for my 30th birthday???!!!

Larabars. Particularly, coconut cream pie and the Jocolat chocolate hazelnut. No added sugar. Crack. I've never eaten so many dates in my life (get your mind out of the gutter, you know what I mean).

Rectify. Aden Young is like soft serve ice cream and fireworks and the shawl your grandma knit you and the devil priest from Carnivale all in one. Trust.

true thing

Whenever I'm in a public restroom and someone else enters, I'm terrified for a nanosecond because my lizard brain thinks it might be the Terminator coming to kill me.

Vancouver

You're gonna read a lot about how awesome the UBC Museum of Anthropology is. BELIEVE IT. If you like totem poles, you will love this museum. If you like rattan motorcycles, stingray skin breast plates, and even more totem poles, this is the greatest place on the planet. I love it. Coolest thing about Vancouver. Also excelletn: Stanley Park. Kitsilano. Seeing a Tim Horton's on every other block instead of a Dunkin' Donuts. The Wunderbar, a candy bar you cannot get in America. Canadians. Boy, do Canadians like to talk. Some store owners will chat your ear off, but you can't help but love 'em anyhow, those adorable Canadians. Overall, Vancouver is a little more urban than I had hoped for, a little sharper around the edges than other cities of the Pac NW (Portland, Seattle), but a good place to visit, even when it's raining the whole time and you can't get a single decent photo.

Emmys 2012 hopes, dreams, whatevers

Quick best-of-all-possible-world predictions: Comedy series: Someone invents time travel, goes back in time, and nominates Parks, Community, and Louie and one of those win instead. Lead comedy actress: Amy Poehler and she gets up on stage and Will Arnett runs up from behind the curtains and says he wants to give it one more chance and the rest of the cast Arrested Development hoist the kissing lovebirds up in the air and carry them off stage. Lead comedy actor: I don't have a horse in this race. Supporting comedy actress: Don't particularly care here either. Supporting comedy actor: Bill Hader. He's a genius, and Stefon has done so much for all of us. And how fucked up is this category? No Danny Pudi? No Nick Offerman? Are you kidding me with this? Drama: Breaking Bad. Or Homeland. But probably Breaking Bad. Lead drama actress: Claire Danes. Julianna's awesome, but she doesn't have that new car smell. Lead drama actor: Cranston. Always Cranston. Sorry, Jon. Supporting drama actress: Anna Gunn finally won me over this year, but I honestly couldn't shrug less about it. Supporting drama actor: Nail biter! Last chance for Giancarlo and Jared, I guess. I haven't seen the past season of Mad Men, but I know what happens. How about a shared Emmy? Let's do that. (Seriously, though, how great are all the other guys, though? And Aaron Paul? Come on. That's never the wrong answer.) Miniseries: Sherlock or Luther. 'Cause those are the only ones I've seen anything of, except for Hatfields, which I don't get the popularity. Lead miniseries actor: Benedict or Idris. Lead miniseries actress: No horse. Supporting miniseries actress: See above. Supporting miniseries actor: Martin Freeman. I friggin' love Martin Freeman. Who's excited for The Hobbit? Variety: Ooh, tough one. Lots of deserving nominees. Stewart's got a ton, though, right? He probably doesn't need it. I'm good with either Colbert or Fallon. Reality: Uggggggghhhhhhh. Who cares? Make this not a thing. Host: See above.

Things I love right now

My old virus-riddled laptop cracked at the hinges and became a desktop, so I finally had to suck it up and buy a new laptop. Got a 14-inch Acer Aspire Timeline X (or something like that), and I love it. Less than $500, and it's like an Ultrabook, but with a DVD player. The sound could be better, or I'm just not using it right, and I kind of hate Windows 8, but overall having a great experience with my new computer. Watched the HBO version of Mildred Pierce recently. So good. Sit-ups. I do those now. Cashews and Chobani yogurt (not together). I eat those now. Gavin DeGraw. Went to see him at the Greek, and he's both a very solid performer and, strangely enough, funny. Like, really funny. Not having any more payments on my car. At last, the piece of junk is all mine.

Seattle

Seattle is, like, four episodes of Friends reruns from Los Angeles on Virgin America, and I finally visited there last weekend. Flew up Thursday afternoon and got to see the Space Needle from space! Well, the air. That's cool. Met my friend Lucy and took the Seattle Link from the airport, which is absolutely the best and cheapest way to go from the airport to downtown Seattle. Stayed in Belltown at Hotel Five, which is a nice, not-too-pricey boutique hotel next to Top Pot Doughnuts and a block or two from this.

We took a cab to Volunteer Park in the middle of rush hour, which was perhaps a bit stupid and certainly pricey. We climbed up to the top of the Water Tower, which has a great, if latticed, and free view of Seattle and was fairly empty. Good stairs. The first Thursdays at many museums, including the Seattle Asian Art Museum, are free, so we went inside the park branch of the museum and checked out some Uzbek robes. They were gorgeous. I bought a few cards and a dragon-reindeer ornament at the gift shop and took a picture of the Space Needle through the Black Hole Sun Chris Cornell was singing about in one of my fave songs.

Then we walked down to Pike/Pine and had dinner at Quinn's Pub. I highly recommend the halibut (though I wish it came with more gnocchi) and pretzel with Welsh rarebit. Bought a signed copy of the new Peter Carey at the Elliott Bay Book Company and we got AMAZING custard at Old School Frozen Custard. Fantastic. The next morning we had biscuits at Serious Biscuit on Westlake (Tom Douglas stop 1) and took the bus up to the Gasworks. No one there really, but just a cool view of downtown Seattle and a weird, awesome, crazy park. Love.

Then we walked to Theo and had a chocolate tour. If you want to taste chocolate but not suffer through a sometimes dull hour, just check out their store, which is a bit of a sample heaven. Can I recommend getting the milk chocolate-almond bar? Delish. The s'mores thing is a bit underwhelming, so feel free to skip that, s'mores fans. We took the bus back and walked through Pike Place. The giant poppies for sale were amazing, and I love a good peony, but the market wasn't really my thing. Lucy bought a pen, and then we had a margherita and a potato pizza at Serious Pizza, where a police horse tried to enter through the front door. After the late lunch, we took a break and just hung out in the room.

Dinner was Palace Kitchen. Very dark in the back, but good food. Saturday morning we grabbed a quick breakfast at Dahlia Bakery and then wonderful hocho at Monrorail Espresso and then headed to the EMP Museum via the monorail, which is a good way to arrive there, as you'll see.

The EMP Museum is brilliant. The Icons of Sci-Fi exhibit had just opened up and had models and props from such films as The Matrix, Men in Black, Terminator, and so on, but the best part is the Sound Lab upstairs where you can learn hooks on the keyboard. Cool, playful museum for adults. Best activity in Seattle.

There's also this guitar-nado.

We had lunch at Steelhead Diner (I got poutine without gravy and pan-roasted broccoli, what?), and then we grabbed the ferry for Bainbridge. Little bait thingamajigs line the divider between tables at Steelhead. One with "jungle cock" sides was right next to me.

It's a cheap ferry ride, and the ferry itself is pretty cool. On the trip over, we had to stop while they ran a man overboard drill because apparently some drunk guy had fallen off the week before. Then this guy stood in front of us as we waited to depart.

Nice. Here's the deal: Bainbridge is cool. Ish. But the Winslow little village area is kind of dull. There's a nice bookshop and the ice cream at Mora's is good, but it's nothing to blog home about. BUT randomly at the marina there are these crazy rock sculptures everywhere.

Can you dig it? I can. On the way back, the entire Bainbridge High class of 2012 as well as a bachelorette party were on the boat, but we managed to avoid both annoying groups altogether. We had dinner at Fuji Sushi, which had really nice chicken Katsu, and walked a long way back to our hotel. At some point we went to Olympic Park, which is small, but a good place to chill and take pictures.

Sunday morning we had a leisurely breakfast at Dahlia Lounge, then walked to REI headquarters, which is impressive if you've never been to LL Bean in Freeport. Now THAT'S a flagship store. We had lunch at the TOTALLY GANGSTER Lunchbox Laboratory, which was quite delicious.

Then we headed back to the hotel, took the Link back to Sea-Tac, and flew out. Great trip.