Sunday, September 23, 2012

Emmys 2012 hopes, dreams, whatevers

Quick best-of-all-possible-world predictions: Comedy series: Someone invents time travel, goes back in time, and nominates Parks, Community, and Louie and one of those win instead. Lead comedy actress: Amy Poehler and she gets up on stage and Will Arnett runs up from behind the curtains and says he wants to give it one more chance and the rest of the cast Arrested Development hoist the kissing lovebirds up in the air and carry them off stage. Lead comedy actor: I don't have a horse in this race. Supporting comedy actress: Don't particularly care here either. Supporting comedy actor: Bill Hader. He's a genius, and Stefon has done so much for all of us. And how fucked up is this category? No Danny Pudi? No Nick Offerman? Are you kidding me with this? Drama: Breaking Bad. Or Homeland. But probably Breaking Bad. Lead drama actress: Claire Danes. Julianna's awesome, but she doesn't have that new car smell. Lead drama actor: Cranston. Always Cranston. Sorry, Jon. Supporting drama actress: Anna Gunn finally won me over this year, but I honestly couldn't shrug less about it. Supporting drama actor: Nail biter! Last chance for Giancarlo and Jared, I guess. I haven't seen the past season of Mad Men, but I know what happens. How about a shared Emmy? Let's do that. (Seriously, though, how great are all the other guys, though? And Aaron Paul? Come on. That's never the wrong answer.) Miniseries: Sherlock or Luther. 'Cause those are the only ones I've seen anything of, except for Hatfields, which I don't get the popularity. Lead miniseries actor: Benedict or Idris. Lead miniseries actress: No horse. Supporting miniseries actress: See above. Supporting miniseries actor: Martin Freeman. I friggin' love Martin Freeman. Who's excited for The Hobbit? Variety: Ooh, tough one. Lots of deserving nominees. Stewart's got a ton, though, right? He probably doesn't need it. I'm good with either Colbert or Fallon. Reality: Uggggggghhhhhhh. Who cares? Make this not a thing. Host: See above.
In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?
-- Woody Allen