Dear Mr. Tolan,
Hope you had a Happy Halloween. Don't forget to set your clocks this weekend.
Another reason why I would be a great writers' assistant:
I don't drink. Ever. At all. I will never come to work with a hangover. I will never not come to work hung over. I'm always happy to be a designated driver. And I'm not judgmental about other people drinking. Okay, I am, but that's only because I care. And usually, I keep it to myself so long as no one's liver is screaming.