Tuesday, March 10, 2009

really real thing that could go wrong

#15. You could go over to the new ZPizza for some delicious pizza for lunch during work on Sunday and park your car in the garage that's actually for "Ross customers only" and when you get back, maybe karma hates you, but your car won't turn on. So you call your coworker who has cables to come give you a jump, but when he gets there his cables aren't long enough (yes, I get this sounds like a euphemism) because the hood of your car is in a difficult place to reach (seriously not a euphemism). So he gives you a ride (okay, that is a euphemism--no, no, it isn't) and you remember you have Chevy Roadside Assistance (GOD BLESS THAT!), so you call and have to walk back over to the garage where you parked, which is over a scary-ass bridge, and the tow guy gives you a jump and tells you to keep it running when you get back to work.

BUT you accidentally turn it off when you get back to work and have to call 'em back. And this time you run it for the 1/2 hour the guy says, but when you turn it off, it dies, of course. So you have to call FOR A THIRD TIME. And this time you just drive home, which takes 20 minutes, and you leave the car running in the garage for an extra 40 minutes just for good measure. But when you turn it off IT'S DEAD AS LOUISA MAY ALCOTT.

So you get up the next morning at 6:00 AM and call CRA for a FOURTH TIME and get a jump and drive to the Chevy dealer a block from your work and give it to the dealer to fix and turns out, after 15,000 measly miles, you need a new battery.

Damn, yo.

Also, songza.com I love.

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In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?
-- Woody Allen