OOOOOOOOH! Oscars!

10:16pm The interpretive stuff makes me want to gouge my eyes out. With interpretive forks. Just saying.
10:17pm A Mastercard commercial with the guy who played Pelosi, Leah Remini's father, on Saved by the Bell, you know, in the episodes where they worked at a beachside resort!
10:21 pm I would watch my own innards get removed if Robert Downey Jr. was involved. Just saying. Can't wait for Zodiac.
10:22 pm I just realized that since he lost, Eddie Murphy actually is a psychic. Which would you rather be, a psychic or an Oscar winner? Let's wait to ask Helen Mirren... "Four blind kids from the Bronx" took me a minute.
10:25pm They just cut to Sacha Baron Cohen in the foreign film presentation. Because he's British? That kid in The Tin Drum looked like the Malcolm in the Middle kid. Frankie Muniz. That's it. Cinema Paradiso is the GREATEST film.
10:28 pm I'm ashamed at how few of these I've seen. I did see Indochine though and The Sea Inside and some others.
10:29 pm Clive's working it. Please be Pan's. Please be Pan's. How could it not?
10:30pm NO!!!!!!!!! Bloody hell. Even Cate seemed surprised. Guillermo, you'll always be numero uno in my book.

Oscars

9:56pm In honor of Happy Feet's win, I'd like to announce that International Polar Year (which is actually two years long -- perhaps one year for each pole?) formally begins Thursday.
9:59pm I bought popcorn today. But I have yet to eat any... the Oscar Bjorn is a fab fashion creation.
10pm Meryl's face, right now, deserves an Emmy and Oscar.
10:01 pm Look at all the live costume wear. And four Queens. I'm scared. OK, this whole thing is weird.
10:03 pm Why does Emily Blunt pronounce Marie like Mary? Is that a British thing?
10:04 pm Milena and her... er, doll? http://www.edrants.com/oscar07/ is down. Ha! I mean, that's so sad.
10:05 pm It's Ethan Hunt! I mean, Tom Cruise! Where's Katie?
10:07 pm TFA -- shudder.
10:08 pm I don't mean to be mean, but arm hair. Arm hair. Maybe, lighting?
10:09 pm It must be weird to be in the audience, what with all the announcers looking in the camera and nowhere near you.
10:11 pm Clint's jealous. Why hasn't he been on Ellen? Ellen is critiquing Steven Spielberg's photo of her and Clint. Love it.
10:12pm Gwyneth and Nicole should duke it out for who is most perfect blonde. They both have an Oscar, but does either have a golden apple?
10:13pm Oh, Youtube got slammed! I like Dick Pope's accent. But yeah, another Pan's Labyrinth win!
10:14pm I wrote 6 pages of my novel today, and my fingers are starting to hurt. Del Toro's going to cry any second, but my wrists may weep blood first...

Oscars

8:55pm Uhuh, now I think these are the "three amigos". "No arms, no legs, teaching gang-bangers Hamlet." Sounds good to me.
8:57pm Who else but Will Ferrell has more hair on his head the older he gets?
8:58pm PL! I'm feeling a sweep!
8:59pm EVERYONE LOVES GUILLERMO!
9:00pm I wish I had seen the animated shorts.
9:01pm Little Smith makes a boo-boo, but it's all good. "That probably wasn't the right line anyway." Watch out, Will. Your kid's got "it" in spades.
9:03pm Short, get it? The kids are short! I guess asking Peter Dinklage would just have been rude.
9:05pm What's-his-face of "West Bank Story" is cute.
9:06pm I don't know exactly what you were expecting of this liveblog. If you don't like it, check out: http://www.edrants.com/oscar07/ -- they have approx. 70 people doing the same thing as me.

Oscars

8:45pm The Golden Compass stars present the first Oscar to art direction. Daniel Craig scares me, and not because his ears are sharp and pointy. I believe he is James Bond and could snap me in half with his eyelashes.
8:46pm First Oscar to Pan's Labyrinth. Yes! I so picked that! Not on this blog, of course, but in my head... that is one skinny woman. A little too pretty for art direction, no?
8:47pm I thought they weren't supposed to thank people.
8:48pm Maggie Gyllenhaal, I'm sorry.
8:51pm What the h*&^ is "Hello"?