Thursday, July 17, 2008

dear brooklyn stranger,

thank you for sending me a 2 pound mystery package.
but no thank you for stipulating that i had to sign for it.
i work during the day.
hence, i have to go to sun valley, which might as well be on the sun, what with gas sucking the niblets from my mouth (seriously, 60% of my diet this week was peanut butter and celery, which may explain why my colon seized last night--TMI? tough) tomorrow during my day off. by that point, it may have already been sent back to you.
also, sun valley is scary, despite it's pretty shiny name.
so thank you, stranger, for whatever you sent me. i'm sure it's worth it and i'm going to be super grateful. but right now, i'm just kind of annoyed. next time, don't pay extra for the signing thing. it's just biting us in our respective butts.

captioned a Google lecture today. didn't understand half of it, but i have come up with great names for bands/horror films now.

am reading Maps & Legends. Chabon should get a MacArthur. man tears up the literary essay. tears. it. up. up!

going to get a physical tomorrow. am actually starving. which is good because my semi-sedentary lifestyle has made me a flabby marshmallow woman. over the holiday weekend, some kids with Hershey bars and graham crackers kept following me around, prodding me with sticks. i tried to explain that i wasn't filled with mallowy goodness but would taste more like pork should they roast me, but they were boys, and i don't think the pork, chocolate, graham cracker was as much of a turnoff as i had hoped.

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In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?
-- Woody Allen