Saturday, July 12, 2008

marker M

It has reached that point where the people I've gone to school with are getting married. I'm only 24, but most of my peers are 25 and if people aren't engaged or married, they're talking about it. It's one of those markers that let you know you're in the county of Adulthood. You may not be in the capital city, but damn, if you're not under its power.

I didn't like being a child, I hated being a teenager, and I'm not loving being an adult. I don't like being responsible for myself any more than I liked being told what to do as a young person. I may have a powerful IQ and know history and understand cultural behavior as evolutionary byproduct, but I still make missteps, I still worry about money incessantly, and I'm still afraid of being alone and unsuccessful. Moreover, I don't really get people. But do I believe in true love and want to get married as much as any other girl brainwashed by a childhood crammed with fairy tales and Disney movies? Abso-friggin-lutely.

Now onto more biographical details: been editing my novel like a good person, came up with a great idea for a House spec, am reading more lately than I have been, had a grilled cheese sandwich on pain de mie at the Artisan Cheese Gallery in Studio City and found something called PB Loco, which is $8 peanut butter with funny additives that I would have probably purchased if not for my unending poverty, and...
I totally visited the set of 24 yesterday. Everyone I met was friendly and nice, and I was much more at ease than I was at the last set I visited. Interesting thing about television shows--and I believe it's true of film sets, as well, from what I hear from my roommate--there is no shortage of free food. If you work on a show or a film, you do not have to buy your own food. Ever. You can't turn a corner without having a bag of chips thrown at your head or stepping into a bowl of salad. It's crazy. Reason #842 to work on a television show. No need to grocery shop.

I think I'm gonna hold off on going to a Griffith Park star party for a few months until it cools down and gets darker a bit earlier.

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In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?
-- Woody Allen