Sunday, December 2, 2007

my crazy Christmas list

This is what I would like for Christmas:

a waffle iron
waffles not to have calories, like celery, or celery to taste like waffles
an egg separator (apparently you're not supposed to do it w/ egg shells b/c of bacteria -- oops)
my feet not to get cold
my hair to make a similarly stunning transformation as Ashley Tisdale's did from Once and Again to now
to forget I know who Ashley Tisdale is
stuff to do with my career, health, my personal life and global warming
a bed frame complete with a mattress that isn't too short for me
the writers' strike to be over and the writers' asses to be all chapped from all the kissing from suddenly enlightened and apologetic producers
a little enlightenment of my own
maybe some Proust?

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In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?
-- Woody Allen