Hiya, Yale Class of '11

So you just heard you got into Yale, and you're thinking, Oh my God, I just convinced one of the best universities in the world that I am worthy of their education. There is no way in hell I am not going to blow this.

Well... this is what you need to know right now.

1) Grades only matter if you are planning to go to graduate school. If you aren't, take classes that interest you and inspire you, not based on what subject they're in but by the class description and the syllabus (remember to shop classes! as great as a class may sound, if the teacher's a dud, the semester will be a nightmare), do the work, but do not sacrifice your extracurricular education for long nights of studying.

2) Whatever you want to be, forget about it. Do not join a club or a publication or a team because it will look good on some resume. Do what sounds fun, what you love. Commit to that. It will be alot less likely that you will give up something that makes you happy.

3) Unless you're a major math/econ geek, do not, do not, do not take an econ class and a stats class at the same time. You will never recover.

4) Learn a foreign language really, really well. Unless you loved your high school language, don't continue with it just so you can pass out of the requirement. Nothing is more useful in this global community than becoming fluent in an exotic foreign language. I know they meet every day early in the morning, but you will be so happy in 2011 when you graduate and can speak Mandarin or Korean or Farsi or Arabic really, really well and hence, have at least one very marketable skill.

5) Go see a play or a comedy improv show, a concert at Woolsey, and so on. One day one of these guys is going to win an Oscar. I got to watch Fran Kranz back in the day, and now he's an up-and-comer in Hollywood with several major films under his belt, or just about to be.

6) The Halloween show. A tradition not to be missed.

7) Binge drinking. Do not do it. If you drink too much, pass out, and have to go to the hospital, that will suck.

8) Don't sweat what everyone else is doing. It's hard not to be jealous when alot of other Yalies already have record contracts or come from richy-rich families or have celebrities for parents, but you can't change any of that, so don't be stand-offish towards them and don't be a sycophant. Just be you. It'll be fine, it's why you're at Yale to begin with.

9) Best Chinese food ever (and cheapest) -- the Yale-New Haven hospital/med school carts. Open weekdays during lunch (I don't know about weekends). Total deliciousness. Best pizza doesn't require going to Wooster St. Just go to Bar. It's awesome.

10) Yale is not like The Gilmore Girls. Especially the YDN. The YDN is where neuroses go to serial kill anything approaching normalcy, so enter with caution. Once it gets its claws in you, it's hard to escape, so you must, must, must love journalism more than anything else because the YDN will become your first home. The Record is great for those who want to work on their comedy chops, while Rumpus is for mean-spirited assholes. The Herald is a weekly and has all the problems inherent to the format. The Book Review is pretty good, and the Literary Journal has a tendency to be overrun by the kind of New York bookophiles who give well-rounded writers a bad name (the English major in general is a little diseased and claustrophobic, which is why I escaped to anthropology, something I recommend highly).

11) Do not try to eat a shake, burger, and fries all at the same time at The Educated Burgher (or however it's spelled). You will feel sick afterwards.

12) Walk to East Rock. It's fun.

13) Go to the men's hockey games. They're even better.

14) You will come to love your roommates, most likely, but it's good to have friends outside of your college suite. Over four years, people can get on your nerves if you don't have a little space.

15) Diner 21 downtown is mucho awesome.

16) Don't fret the Flower Lady. She's harmless, just annoying. Also, you think you will never get used to all the ambulance sirens and (if you live on the New Haven Green side of Old Campus) drug addicts screaming, until you get home for Thanksgiving and can't sleep because it's too quiet.

17) Homesickness. Yeah, me, too, and my family only lived 20 minutes away.

18) Make friends with the Master and Dean of your college. I also recommend being a Master's Aide. It gives you untold amounts of power and pays decently considering how little work you have to do most of the time.

19) The New Haven train station is within walking distance, as long as you don't scare too easily, and is accessible by taxi or the Yale shuttle. NYC is an hour and forty minute ride. You can go other places, too, like Boston, though I've never tried. Go to NYC sometime. It's a cool place to hang out and half of the Yalies you meet will be from there or moving there after graduation.

20) Yale clothes are expensive. Wait til the holidays and have your family buy you a sweatshirt if you want one so bad. In the meantime alot of crap Yale clothes get handed out by clubs and your residential clothes. Make do with those until your cash flow improves.

21) Yale Career Center -- good luck with that. It's way downtown and a pain in the ass. Online doesn't help much, but I would go there super-early to talk about summer plans because nothing is quite as difficult as getting a summer job. You're lucky and can take non-paying intern jobs in the fields that interest you or go abroad, even if poor, because Yale will pay you back. Take advantage of that. For those of us who didn't have that opportunity, trying to find a job is much, much, much harder.

22) I hope all the library construction is done by the time you get here in September. Otherwise, just know that it hasn't always been that way, and eventually Cross Campus will be accessible

23) DS is cool. DS is also wicked hard. And comprehensive as hell. If you can survive DS, you can survive anything. If you don't choose to take it, it's still wise to read Herodotus, Cervantes, and Tolstoy, just so you can enjoy some Very Important Books.

24) Unless you're going to become an architect, do not take a class with Vincent Scully.

25) Eat at the law school, HGS or the business school once in a while. For a change of pace. The cafe at the top of the science building blows, so don't bother there unless you're already in the area for class.

26) Don't take a job with Accounts Payable. You will fail all your classes and contemplate suicide.

27) Yale-in-London. Do it.

28) Hit the gym (in your college or Payne Whitney). They offer classes for a small fee, as well, and you will gain the Freshman 15 if you don't exercise. Intramural Sports are always underattended too, so jump in, even if you suck.

29) Recycle. It will never be easier to recycle than at Yale, so don't be lazy. Just do it.

30) Volunteer. It's good for your soul, and there are literally dozens of different ways to make a difference. And if you can't find one you like, invent something. You can probably get money for it. That's what makes Yale such a joy.

31) Yale politics: soul-killing. Ignore them. Completely. But don't forget to vote next fall in the real elections. Those actually matter.

32) Keep a constant eye on the poster boards and the YDN ads for master's teas and other cool things going on at Yale. You won't regret it.

Uh, that's all I have for now. I'd be happy to answer any other questions about Yale.