not "topless"

My new job is to watch TV.
Very slowly.

That's what a caption editor does. It makes my head hurt.

The past day and a half, I've been captioning a certain show that has been around since the dawn of time. Due to confidentiality, I cannot reveal the name of the show, but I can say that the episode I captioned made me laugh really hard and appreciate the actors who somehow managed to say some of the most absurd sentences human beings have ever written on purpose.

If you're not watching it slowly, you might not catch on for awhile how ridiculous this episode is. But I have faith that someone out there will watch this episode, and a few minutes in, say, "There's no way this show is going to be entirely about ***t*." And then, it kinda is, until it becomes, actually, about "*******d t*********."

Hahaha. Oh my God. The sentences, people. The frickin sentences.

How will you know which show it is? I'll give you a hint. The show is on tonight, but this particular episode doesn't air until next week. A clip from the episode has been airing on promos for a few weeks now, ostensibly to highlight its new star.
And after you see it, you'll be wary of brushing your teeth.

I've said too much. I must now run and hide in my pillowcase.