rage

I think, when you've been emotionally raped the way I've been over the past 18 hours, it's easy to understand why people become conspiracy theorists. Because, if you grew up believing the law was there to protect you, not extort you, and that this is the greatest country on earth, you have to accept one of two equally distressing premises: either the LA Court system is completely inept and their claim that I didn't send in my trial by written declaration form was legitimate and subsequent discovery of said form this morning a lucky miracle for me, or they are deliberately trying to wear people like me down so that we'll just plead guilty and pay these exorbitant fines out of anxiety. I mean, in one case, the court system is unreliable and poorly-run; in the other, it's extremely well-run and villainous.
All I have to say is, after 90 minutes on the phone this morning and 18 hours worth of anxiety attacks (preceded by 4 months of this madness), this harassment had best be over, and I had better get my goddamn $123 bail back. This is some kind of heinous racket, and I won't be a victim to it anymore.