Sunday, February 25, 2007

Barbara Walters' Oscar Special

7:01pm I like the music. But does Barbara Walters have spiders on her?
7:02pm OK the music is a bit much.
7:03pm "Something was different. Ellen didn't like dresses." Does that mean I'm gay? I thought wanting to have sex with females would do that.
7:04pm Ellen's got a mullet!
7:05pm I heart Johnny Carson.
7:05pm Mr. Wrong did not flop because Ellen was gay. It flopped because, oh my God, my eyes!
7:06pm: Wait, Ellen is 49? And Portia de Rossi is 34? That's a huge age difference. Ellen looks 12, but still...
7:07pm Barbara escaped the spiders!

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In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?
-- Woody Allen