oscars

11:06 pm Back in the day when I used to babysit, we were on a walk when my 4 year-old charge physically ran into Hugh Jackman. Right into his leg. I was totally humiliated and also shocked. Hugh Jackman is actually better looking in person. The man can totally work a turtleneck. Also, he is super tall. The 4 year-old also once trapped Meryl Streep in an apartment building while under my care, but that's a story for another time.
11:07 pm I love Gustavo! Always have, always will. Inarritu's films are better because of him. All films are better because of him.
11:09pm Jack should also be on the Ellen show.
11:11pm I wish I lived in LA. Or, you know, that area.
Spiderman!
Best Original Screenplay. Just breathe, Kati. Just breathe.
11:12pm Guillermo or Arndt. Guillermo or Arndt. I like Morgan as a person, but, please, no. Not this stupid movie. The stag symbol moment makes me want to gag.
11:14pm Michael Arndt!!!!!!!!!! Hoorah! There's help for us all! How you like me now, Matthew Broderick?!
11:15pm Little Mister Oscar Winner! Why couldn't my parents have driven us across country in a VW van with a broken clutch? Why?????????!!! Sorry, that was the most important award of the night for me.
11:16pm OK, The Devil Wears Prada thing was kind of good. But, seriously, the interpretive shadow dancers should not be invited next year.